-believe in humanity-

its three days into my 3mth long hols.. still scouting for my dream holiday job at a garage heheh besides hanging out in town every other day at least durimg this hols i got myself a job so things are kinda diff n i really dun buy any unnecessary stuff n slurge money like water.. these 2 factors enables me to go easy on my conscience though i go out almost everyday at least i m still responsible cos sorta earning my own keep haha its a pyschological thing.. anyway gg out with friedns n interacting with pple has reminded me n given me further insight on how "ugly" some pple can be.. their moral values are questionable to put it mildly and the most disturbing thing is that they re nonchalant about it and treat it as part n parcel of life.. these pple really got major issues man .. ok maybe their mindset n their shocking behaviour that they exhibit may be attributed to their environment and the line of biz sometimes i dunno wat to make out of the situation. i feel tt these pple are not necessarily all out bad they re misguided in a major way. actually "misguided" encompasses a broad spectrum of undesirable behaviour. I feel tt its one thing to haf desires n another thing to cooerce n tempt others with promises into doing sth immoral due to one's own selfishness. its precisely this aspect tt sickens me .. fine! nobody is perfect n some are more wayward than others but its so selfish n wrong to influence others who are still very much vunerable into making a mistake he/she might regret for the rest of their lives. This i feel is the epitome of selfishness and it is this tts makes me disappointed.. and sometimes the more i see of such things he more i feel tired n the more i lose faith in humanity ..
personally, based on the concept of tolerance n acceptance, i think tt an immoral lone ranger is really far more forgivable than an immoral conqueror. i feel tt this selfish species is akin to an epidemic. its really hard to respect these pple n work with them or even look them straight in the eye..the "robinhood" in me is just dying to surface n say "i know wat u did!! how could u live with urself !! tsk tsk !!! " bu i know tts so not wise and stupid and yes i admit naive and ok fine! childish is a better word. i mean this entry is not meant to chatise these grp of immoral conquerors it is to discuss n analyse them n try to understand them a little more since i m so clueless to why they enjoy doing it.

however, there is but one particular type of behaviour which i m still trying my best to come to terms with.. n that is pple who like playing mind games n get a kick outta it for now, {like i said i m trying my best to tolerate this} i really cannot stand it when someone trys to use persuasion skills to VEHEMENTLY persuade one into doin something she/he wants. that is SO selfish .. somehow whenever this behaviour is exhibited if the victim were me, i would instinctively apply newton's 3rd law n be on defensive mode n it ll show all over my face. n if the person trys too hard like a potential murderer with a knife hidden beneath a smiley face i would really just say sth out front n then keep silent n next day avoid the person like a disease.. i mean i feel tt its better than trying to play a game of words with hidden meanings and controlled facial expressions n see who will emerge winner out of this game n i know one of the tactics commonly uised is the player is not getting anywhere near his destination is putting u down n making fun of u tt is just so low.. ok some pple who likes things to go their way does it unconsiously n tt is definitely forgivable n one shld just remind them when they re at it. i think for this grp of pple i shld really learn to bear with it n try to master the art of telling them w/o embarrassing them if theyre my friends but for those who does it knowingly man ! u shld really reflect on urself! i mean i really pity them they dun get satisfaction out of the better things in life n are happy when they re stepping allover other pple this i feel is a perverse sense of pleasure n in this lifetime one is doom to be surrounded by feelings of animosity n be deprived of the joy found in sincerity n the warmth of self sacrificing friendship .. tt is very pitiful i just cannot feel an once of sympathy for these pple only pity haiz .. at least for the lone ranger who commits sins i can try to understand them n sometimes sincerely try to help them using gd influence i mean everyone makes mistakes maybe to them its no longer a mistake it has become a lifestyle i mean i ve some major bad points too n its a lifelong task to cope with them.for the sinful conqueror welli do feel sad for them cos i m sure all these stem from the insecurities n perhaps they had their own fair share of bad exp n stopped believing in humanity. at least with these pple u can still find a few redeeming qualities n as long as u stand ur ground n when talking to them try to offer a new insight into an alternative lifestyle n show them how beautiful life can be even if u re not selfishly trying to influence others to get wat u want.. its ultimately one's own choice i mean tts the whole point of freewill but u can certainly give a new perspective though it may bot be easy..


however the mind players i still cannot cometo terms with this oh dear i really cant control my expressions n emotions when it comes to this sometimes u just so tempted to give them a taste of their own medicine (more like poison) but i know if i do tt i would become sth i loathed the most n how ironic will tt be! i guess i guess i ll just haf to avoid them for now till i can deal with them in a not so childish way

anyway , sometimes the things u hear n see esp in the outside world outside the safe grey buildings of nus engine is so frightening n surreal i mean i SERIOUSLy had no idea such pple exisisted ok now i m making them seem like a new breed of species n alienating them. ok i ve heard of such pple thru magazines like cleo n her world n seen such pple in drama series.. but personally knowing such pple never! i mean after my a levels during the hols ive met quite a bit of new peeps n explored ard quite a bit n learnt a few lessons in life .. now as i m growing up into adulthood i realise tt true there are such ple who mask their undesirable motives under a facade and they want u to believe a certain way about them. but i refuse to give in i refuse to believe tt is the onli way to survive n go far in this world .. i would rather remain a pauper all my life than to give up my believe in the finer non material things in life inthe process i would hang on to my believe in humanity cos thats the onli thing tt gives u hope n the world doesnt seem so dreary after all ....