i shall NOT do a one way traffic!!!!!!!!!!!!

had cheer pract yesterday it was the first time we re doing a full routine or rather getting started on one.. the coach made clear the commitment level expected from us fromt he start.. which is no less than 80 percent .. to me cheerleading is really fun i mean i m not crazy over it or anything but i really enjoy the sport no other strings attached .. i enjoy dancing, i love teamwork n interaction tt comes with it. i like doing stunts but i m so not into flying .. so its really every phy thing i enjoy all rolled into one.
I thot i loved martial arts ok i used to love martial arts but looking back i realised it was really nothing short of a love hate relationship haha haiz. i like the stunts n kicks but i hate the discipline tt comes with it i mean this sort of discipline is the lone ranger kind it s theworst kind of discipline ever!practise alone get it down to a science alone i feel so deprived of company when during training .. in fact i joined martial arts in the first place cos i wanted to find a more "useful" alt to dancing. i thought dance was kinda useless but fun at first so i switched .. being practical as usual but i realised i did not enjoy it as much AND the muscles i get from martial arts not very appealing to say the least my leg muscles esp it took me a LONg time to get rid of them !
now.. back to cheerleading... excited to make into the team but the thing is i do not want to be the one who s ultra super duper hyped up by onli one thing in my life which is cheerleading n gets ready to bounce off the walls whenever im ont he topic! ok i mean ..... in sec sch i would be like tt whatever is happening within my life at tt time i would be soso into it 100 percent n drive friends crazy by gushing ranting over it.. hmm think tts not the way it shld be... i shouldnt neglect other aspects of my life like the taekwondo camp i m supp to help out with ! die.......... n shld i be councilor for engine camp ???? or engine o week??? sounds tempting.... n oh ya my jobbb i ve yet to contact the solid works person haizzzzzzzzz i realised i closed up too much during yr one like i m so afraid o flunk
(which was a huge n grave concern) and i just neglected all my friends n avoided making new friends cos i felt i just had no time for them waht a silly gal .. i think everyone is a social creature n needs to interact with pple to keep their sanity in check . since upper sec i love meeting pple n is a die hard chatterbox.. n never extremely gd at studies .. think i score higher points at entertaining pple
wat a sad thing haha i think i was gg against the forces of nature to reverse tt trend. anyway now i think ill just do the necessary like keepin my job to earn my keep (earning $4 per hr is hardly earning my keep i m more ex than tt!) but due to cheer pract i ve little options i need a flexi job ...for me to keep to my commitments most of the time .. n my next responsibility tkd camp........ n then conc on trying to enjoy them haha i ll enjoy cheer but will try to do other stuff well too so i wont rant on n on bout cheer n do a one way traffic without the traffice lights again..
wat chirsty chung said is true the key iot happiness in life is not about reading the dai lama its about balance...............