THE first 21st birthday party of the year:12 Jan 2005 Gracie

It was a really unexpected birthday party.. firstly, i got the venue wrongI thot it was a house party, hence my preparation for the type of party is already all wrong.. haaha but it was really quite a pleasant surprise. I guess this teaches me to read my mail next time. The party was at Le Pampas at club st 32.. Very very nice place.. it had a mediterrenean feel to it. The theme of the party was spring so everyone was supp to dress up accordingly. Lucky for me i came in my
"leafy" top and flower embroidered slippers I bought in Vietnam! Unwittlinly, I actaully dressed to fit the party.. Furball wore a skirt too! She chose the skirt cos she could not find her jeans .. apparently it had mysteriously disappeared b4 the party. How fortunate..
I reached the place at 640pm and I took a cab down from Clementi ..oh noo it was another day whereby the situation is such tt my poor planning skills are accentuated. How sad. I think I ve really reaallly learnt frm this incident! this kind of thing would never happen again! I realised that poor planning could result in dire consequences.
Firstly, I would haf to compromise on my limited monetary resources to get a cab in order not to be late.
Secondly, I end up confusing pple and unknowingly break promises...
Thirdly, due to my confused state of mind.. the pple ard me would be adversly affected. All these unfavourable events make me determined to make better decisions next time. ..
This is what happened, I promised Furball tt I will meet her at Bishan MRT station to go to Grace s house together at 6pm. Ok apparently both of us did not read the mail the party is at Le Pampas not her house! Then, I sort of promise Mervyn tt I will lend him my laptop over msn. He was conversing with Freddy as I was busy finding space to put my 3 bags in his hall.Well, Fred told me Merv said tt he will be picking Fangxi up at 6 in sch so he ll pick us up then. Well, as usual I did not foresee tt I ll be abandoning Fur so I agreed!! Ahh!! Now in retrospect the situation I got myself caught in is so ridiculas I promised to meet 2 pple at 6!! How stupid can one get ah! Next time, I willl prioritise1 As Freddy said, you cant help the whole world! You will end up harming pple instead.

Anyway, when I reached I was pleasantly surprised to see all my JC classmates gathering at a table and helping Gracie with the deco which consisted of tying balloons to a golden string..so nice.. the setting was beautiful and everyone was all dressed up. Grace was wearing this nice flowy flowery dress and her hair was tied up in some sort of french braid adorned with glittery hairpins .. and some part of her braid was coloured.. very cute like a spring flower fairy so nice!! oh ya and her shoes were this pair of glittery heels she lookoed every bit like the bdae gal!! Joy and Luyi both wore a sleeveless top with a nice knee length skirt and Luyi's hair was done up in a flowery bun. Very nice and complementary to Gracie's outfit..

The preparation period was spent getting things done and and taking photos.. I wanted to bring my analogue camera but I figured it was too much of a hassle and I could not find a film shop.. Phototaking is really very symbolic of my JC friends. During any outings anywhere at any place we enjoy taking cute photos it s like part and parcel of our way of life.. My uni frends are not so into phototaking.. But Angela, shuhui n Sher are also into it .. how interesting.

After everyone settled down , we started to write in Gracie's guest book so fun like an impromtu autograph. I wanted to write her a spring theme entry . .. After all that hustle and bustle we got blessed by Gracies two other fairies with glittery powder when we entered Grace land hehe
The meal started when Jane arrived its been a long time since we saw her she went to Phuket for diving. so scary so lucky she was not caught in the tidal wave disaster... Feel lucky for her..
Anyway the meal was really enjoyable catching up with old times n toking cock but its not the lame kind of cock somehow I think I m quite a serious person so is furfur and the rest of my Jc classmates we dun really derive entertainment in lame jokes. Maybe once in the while its still funny but not too often it gets pretty lame n stupid. I guess tt s what makes us click so well as a class.. Luyi was telling us bout her food science so interesting... n after playing some games which included the hilarious dressing mingde up as a drag king haah and leaving him in the cold to fend for himself aft the competition, me, Jane and Luyi headed outside to warm ourshelves we talked about growing up and coming of age . Suddenly in the midst of our conversation, I flashed back... Luyi was herself 3-4 yrs back n Jane too when I met them in their sec sch uniforms so different.. they were without makeup n their hair straight n black n tied up.. we were swinging on the monkey bars of TJC n sitting beside each other in tutorials ..
I missed Sheryl loads too even though we seldom meet nowadays when I was talking to her I can still feel the closeness and feel comfy wif her. Too bad she had to leave after Gracie had her opening pressie ceremony.. Yesterday in the midst of the party I felt closeness but then again I felt a tinge of sadness and regret. I felt that I had not put in effort to stay in contact or be a better friend to the rest of my classmates.. But alas one person has only so much time...anyway, now i just think that I should show more appreciation for my friends by putting in more effort in friendships...

After the party ended at 12 plus we trailed a cab and headed to Mohammad sultan.. We wanted to go double o but me n Fur had no money.. Actaully I had $2 I thot I could borrow frm her. Apparently she was flat broke she had $0 and thot could borrow from me!! Goodness two broke pple wif limited monetary resources relying on each other for cash! We decided to walk towrds Tamp and find an atm along the way so tt our cab fre wont be so ex. Luyi was incredulous when she heard of our plan hahaah apparently she was unconvinced of our ability to take care of ourshelves!! so cute her frustrated look !

Anyway me and furry felt so free walking down the streets atnight laughing.. chatting in spirited voices sth we had not ht eluxury of enjoying in a long long time

post party syndrome: a tribute to my Furry friend

My goodness.. tonight was really one amazing night..when me and Furball get together, we really amuse ourselves with the craziest of things.. the feeling is just so amazing ..
During our Vietnam YEP, we shared the same bed upstairs the double decker and whispered to each other at night.. it was like she was a form of comfort and we seeked solace in each other at the end of a day when things go wrong and we feel sad and down. She sought solace when she felt tt nobody understood her during the facilitation sessions.. I sought solace in her when emotions run high n when I was a victim of circumstances and misunderstandings occur.. It was sad tt she decided not to extend her stay aft the YEP trip. Around 14 of us were extending our stay to visit Ho Ching Minh from Hanoi via a 30 hour train ride. Alas, she was not one of them..

When I was on the bus in Ho ching minh to visit the War tunnel, I suddenly had this aching feeling.. it was becos I missed her badly.. it is wierd how these feelings come about.. one can suddenly miss a person he/she care about so much tt it hurts.. how wonderfully wierd..wonderful becos this shows tt I am able to care for another person so deeply and the fact I am capable of such concern makes me happy as it brings more meaning to my life.

Anyway, during tt bus ride I missed her so much..I wondered, we seem so different on the outside and our characters are seemingly so different.. How in the world did we become so close??? How did our connection came about??? Then as I was analysing through these thots I came to a conclusion tt we may be very diff but our differences complement each other ..we do have our mini tiffs but it is thru these tt we learn and gain new perspective on how to be a better person...

post yep trip syndrome

The saddest thing happened to me during my vietnam trip.. My YEP journal was lost and never to be found again! How very sad and unfortunate..3 weeks of memories, fun and laughter written in black and white all gone! Of course I was devastated at first, but in the midst of my sorrow and sense of loss, I picked up the scrapes of left over construction paper strewn on the floor of the bunk and made a new mini journal to replace the old. Once the mini book was made using stapler and blue, red and pink construction paper, I began to write in earnest all the lessons I had learnt from this trip. I was consolidating the hightlights from the past few weeks. It was like a re-cap of all the events with an indepth analysis. This incident made me realise how fragile these things are. Journals, letters written between friends and lovers,all pieces of paper that will turn yellow and tear one day. All these forms of momento could be easily misplaced esp by careless pple like me or wiped out by a fire .. why are such stuff are so important to some pple? thats because these things have sentimental value. This make me think of abstracts of scenes from some melodramatic movie where in a life and death situation, the lead actor or actress would go risk his/ her life in order to get back some material possession which is given to him/her by his/her lover or mother. Hmm, these material possession may come in the form of neckless, ring or even a simple letter. They may not be expensive but are strong symbols of something great. I feel that these trinkets are important and so dear to us because they help us to remember happy times spent together. Memories fade, the human brain is not like some memory storage device where memories could be brought to life by the click of the mouse. These things help us remembering.. or, they may be a form of a promise, for example, a wedding ring, it is a promise of a lifetime of commitment and devotion to each other. Whatever it may be , I cannot deny the importance of such stuff. But, to me they take up too much space in my room and it s getting really messy. Tsk tsk then I ll have to choose which to keep and which to throw or come up with a new storage system. Anyway, the most important thing is still the actual friendship and relationship. It is the pple that should be most treasured not the thing they give as a form of rememberance or promise..
Good friends the kind u wiould treasure for a lifetime are hard to come by..
Sometimes we hang out with a particular clich during lessons or sth but as time goes by due to change of circumstances and our paths dun cross so often anymore, the clich starts to drift and onli meet up during special occassions..
True, they are also very dear but I feel that it is on one on one basis tt u can really make the kind of close friends who fills up a certain emotional void in our lives. Those kind of friends are almost as close as family... these frends dun come easy

firstly, both parties haf to haf a certain affinity for each other, affinity in my context is a much milder interpretation of fate. I do not really believe in fate as I believe that the life you lead comes with the choices you make. However, certain things do haf a higher probability of happening to certain pple and that in my context is called affinity.

Secondly, in order for it to blossom, both parties must be able to meet up rather frequently to build up the friendship, thats why most of our really close friends come from sec sch or Junior colleges. Those days were the times spent hanging out with friends during recess, after sch, during tutorial... go through practically everything together..

I guess aft that you still need a certain amt of determination and effort to maintain it .. thats why its crucial to make time for friends...

Lastly, one of the most impt thing is tt both parties must be able to "connect". This connection is not shared among lots of pple, it is a feeling of inexplicable ease with each other, a feeling tt u can trust this person almost completely and deep in your soul u feel tt u can care for this person and is concerned for his/her well being. You would also want to be in the company of him/her as you can open up to him/her because you know tt he/she truly understands you and is genuinely interested in wat happened and has interesting insights of his/her own to share..

This comes with trust and as i grow older i realise this level of trust makes pple vunerable and it doesnt come easy ... ,the world is not such a beautiful place afterall .. but i still refuse to give in tot he cruelties in life as I believe in humanity .. I choose to retain my trust in people though i know they might betray me .. But, this knowledge makes me find even greater beauty in those friends of mine as now I know how precious this sort of trust is in the midst of the uncertainty and distrust in the world. I choose to indulge in childlike innocence as this makes me very happy but at the same time I would have higher awareness in order to protect myself and people i care about ...thats my motto in life