freedom never tasted soo sweett

end of exams was celebrated with a bang ! it ended with a birthday song dedicated to jimmy in a chorus of very very loud vvoices he had a whole audience in mpsh to witness his celebration .... finally the end but all of us were so drained and tired at the end of the paper.. we were torn betweeen slping n gg to town.... but most of us were not dressed to go to town hahah i was mismatched as usual n joo was in her glasses as she did not slp the whole night!!!!but we could resist it no longer n hitched a ride in jimmy s vehicle which he dented when trying to park! his doggie loofy was also one of the passengers! the dog is sooooooooooooooo cute kawaii n wat a BABY ! hereally is one pet dying for affection my god he licked all over my FACE when i was carrying him while jimmy drives aaaahh i was screaming in th ecar while joo n amy laughed their heads off ! too bad my hp batt empty if not i cld haf taken pics of him... me, joo, amy shopped at taka today n we took 4 whole hourss the guess bags are sooo nice ok way beyond budget but other bags cant hold a candle to them ... i think i better get a job if i wanna enjoy my holss we wanted to catch a movie buttttttt the timing too late i haven watched one since cny!! pathetic me i ve no life ok correction as clement said THIS is my life noww anyway was satisfied for the day............. slp i need it badly tmr gg orchard to find a job there hehe then i can window shop everyday ..

a tribute to tv channel 5

i ve always loved the oc, smallville, csi miami , dark angel, last time it used to be buffy the vamp slayer , friends... now in addition i love reality tv amazing race the list goes on n on .. after a fedback test weeks ago i spent the entire night watching tv on 5.. i felt so so deprived .. i manged to catch csi!!n i saw a few new shows tt were really quite nice one is to dot with a psychic babe helping dead pple hmm sounds like some one i actually know .. hahah i always thought these shows were really interesting and they potray the lives of pple in another country something so different frm my world.. it makes me wanna live aboard..


when i was a kid hated sesame street thot the stuff they were trying to teach were pretty lame n the programme was going at such a slow pace.. i used to think cant they talk faster i m falling asleep alr! the show has diff segments n the part with the count i assumed was supp to teach kids maths but i really couldnt stand his slow n perfectly timed laughter ...äh ah ah ah"but i watched it anyway cos i wanted to see Elmo make his appearance i thot the red monster was so darn cute!!!!

local shows like triple nine hahaah well the onli reason i watched was to supp local artiste like wong lilin n james lye.. i thot everthing sucked when u compare it with shows like bay watch, NYPD blue ... but i have to say the current local shows have much more substance n i watch them not entirely cos of the eye candy they offer on screen .. the chase is nice ... but i still think channel eight is doing quite a lot better than channel five in terms of tv series .. think singapore film makers succeed at war films, potrayal of the 1960s or comedy sitcoms pretty well. think they still haf to work on action packed shows its not really convincing enough yet .. maybe it has sth to do with singapore itself?? cos we know such stuf dun really happen n wat is potrayed looks phony n pathetic? in comparison with other countries with their notorious mafia bosses n high tech syndicates .. the wanted criminal in singapore is most likely to be some crazy uncle or ah beng loan shark king in geylang ???

great! the other half of my post is all gone!!!!!! pissed

wat a day.... just got back my fluids test from xiaoling ok not too bad considering the fact tt the first question was lifted straight off from the text! i guess my foresight
has saved me n jimmy n joo some marks more than half actually!

i guess in life one has to seek contentment.. in a certain sense.. wat nick related to me the other day during lecture really made sense to me now..

this is his story..

year one.. he used to be someone ambitious academically n socially and has the urge to keep on improving his grades.. in his quest for such pursuits.. he felt stressed up n empty .. n unsatisfied..

but now.. he has somewhat lost interest in these material things in life n settled for sth more spiritually enriching.. tt has eventually made him a better friend..

this brings to mind :
the complexities of ambitious pple .... being ambitious is a double-edged sword for one would be admired for their drive but in another sense, being ard them can be overbearing if u re an unfortunate soul who is viewed as a potential competitor ..
to some of them life itself is a competition where not emerging tops in any segment of the competition is suffering a fate worse than death(ok i m exaggerating but get the point)

Are overly ambituious pple necessarily stress inducers which by their innate competitiveness has make them insufferable due to the fact tt they re forever competing with others in watever whichever sense ... ?


used to hate this competitiveness tt seems so rife
being an onli child i ve to compete with no one in the same sense i had no one to play with so i was forever self entertained n lost in my own world n self exploring my own persona..just like how i ended up talkin to an "imaginery friend" ok he/she/it is gone right now so i m NOT suffering from schizophrenia! which is a mental condition exhibited by a certain mathematical genius.. N nobel laurate.. John Nash.. he was potrayed in the movie a beautiful mind.. not exactly a blockbuster but very very inspiring.. the scene of him scribling the mathematical fromula on the window seems all too familiar when i look at my tutorial strewn on my table hahah ok fine i admit
i m in love with his brain n hope to haf a teeny weeny bit of it n hoping against hope tt i at least exhibit some of tt mathematicl genius

so cute amy n her untidy table... a typical scene at engine during study period.. pple even camp there n slp there god! so scary its like there are pple in this world who can really mug 24/7 i wonder wat fuel they run on i seriously dun mind trying it out........ 

cars, engines , bartending , manicure n me

just read the newpaper bout the NUS team led by prof seah kar heng ( my fundamental mech lecturer) to build this automobile from scratch to race in the competition.. so cool.....every night in raffles hall i hear the engine of the racer running... calling to me... i think anthony is in the team ... i wanted to sign up for it last sem but, i think i m not gd enough n my results arent tt fantastic either if one is not gd enough think be kicked out ta the team n there goes my time n energy ... every day i see them at pavillion testing n working hard on the design of the car.. how i wishhhhh .... i think it ll be fun to work under seah he s so darn entertaining in his lectures a true blue singaporean prof who s smart he makes us the singaporean engineer wanna-bes who are among his audience proud.. be en having so many foreign profs teaching in wierd accents...too bad there isnt an auto industry in singapore .. its been my dream since sec 2 to build an environmentqal friendly powerful car haha

anyway this brings to mind a part time job i m desperately lookng for aft my exams.. the article has given me inspiration to find a part time job as a car mechanic assisstant like do anything from help change tyres to change a part of the car... hmmmm but i doubt anyone would hire me!! but then again i wld love to find a part time job tt allows me to interact with pple maybe at some manicure shop as the cleaner or hair salon as the hair washer or in some shop at the make up counter , or maybe at a beauty salon as a" massager " ..anything in the fashion n beauty industry then i ll get to interact n talk to pple !! or maybe i could try out bar tending seems fun after watching coyote ugly but i think bar tender onli applies to night clubs .. so sad! i wonder if anyone needs a bartender at some smoke free place tt lots of pple frequent n onli operates in the day cos i want to slp at night!n think my mum will kill me if i reach hme at 4am everynight. way past bed time ...
speaking of bartending my friend from jc, shes a china scholar n is in biz fac now in nus she s bartending part time even during sch days boy i really think engine modules really take up a LOT A LOT of time..she told me a lot of pple in biz are also into bartending part time at mohammed sultan.. she asked me to join her at crazy elephant but i think she s crazy.. i mean working hrs so late n loud music n smoke so detrimental to one's physical n mental well being ok fine i sound like a prude n i m not exaclty tt saintly i love dancing n loud music but i cant stand working n listening to loud music 24 7 , n i HATE smoke esp 2nd hand smoke it makes me irritated n sleepy n i dun drink period .. peeps who went clubbing with moi b4 would understand.. when i get thirsty which is really often i would head to the toilet n drink tap water

which brings to mind another issue .. clubbing .. the 2nd last time i went was to this awful place which played onli brazilian music near orchard emerald .. it was during the orientation week bash.. which was around 3/4 yr ago .. haha the onli thing i liked bout it was the fact tt my pals are all there n we re having a crazy time together ok i think some pple really got crazy tt night n i led three high on alcohol gals to the toilet which was very far away ...the 3 crazy drunk ladies

the last time was last hols just after our last paper thermodynamics.. me, abel , jj went to devil's bar carrying our big sch bags along n me in my shippers n clip in the hair think we looked rather outta place haha

i remembered i was out with this guy friend of mine who s younger than thou n thinks smokin is cool he tries to puff out in the other direction away from me but somehow tt guy is smart enough to choose a direction in which the wind was blowing in my face.. it was a horrible 2hr conversation at coffee bean

i had enough of stupid office work last hols cant talk n haf to do so many brainless mundane work utterly boring!!! n in sales sure u get to talk to pple but pple dun want to talk to u ! jimmy once commented tt the stuff i want in life so different .. i like engineering stuff (though i m not gd at it) the oily dirty stuff where u face machines n maths all day without anyone disturbing u and on the other hand i lurvve to talk to pple n i like nice clothes, intrigued by hair, make-up tt sorta stuff.. hmm i still cant decide wat i want to work as during my 3 mth hols ok i still need to get past my exams!

tt also brings to mind my future career path n the life i want to lead shld set goals to achieve... i dun wanna`be 30 n still lost trying to find myself ..

haha this is the epitome of creativity ok jj u re the winner of the "creative pics produced by stressed pple" award 

funny shots taken at the sinful 2 HR lunch break at arts canteen pple under high tensile stress getting creative for the camera 

thinking bout gowns n make up yup i guess i really do rather enjoy gg to functions n dressing up but the real bonding friendship fun comes it getting ready for the whole event hahah gg shopping trying on new gowns colour aft colour .. n having fun at it playing hide n seek in the fitting rooms.. something i noticed each time some friend of mine is gg to some other guy's commissioning ball mostly they ll offer to pay for the dress n then the gal will happily go shop n get prepared with her gal friend this phenomena reminds me of this romance novel i read "tender is the storm" the lady would spend the whole day getting ready for a ball n then her future beau will onli see the end product then they ll spend less than 6 hrs getting to know each other! the ratio of her getting pretty n ready does not justify! hmm i ll rather the couple get shop for a gown together n do the prep stuff together think tts the crucial bonding period  

my first success DIY attempt at make up FINALLY got it right no more bugging friends for help if i need make up on ! still remmeber during jc prom night i had to trouble dearest sweetest angelic angela n shermaine to come to swissotel and squeeze in the the small tiny room i share with all of my CG1601 classmates to help me make up after learning a thing or two from them i decided to try it on poor furfur who s face suffered a terrible fate under my hands she had dark eye bags n i used dark brown eye shadow and applied a thick layer on her eye lids somehow it matched her dark eye bags ... so sad! she look punched in both eyes ! poor gal and i thot the colour matched her skirt ... the next attempt was during Rude'sw commissioning ball fur fur was my victim yet again .. this time the coulor was better but! i think i wasnt aware of the break line for the eye shadow n went over board for one eye .. then it looked like i plasted glittery glue on one lid darn! oh furball pls dun say u re sorry to be my friend at least the red gown we bought together at tangs looks great!  

today was lookin thru my bdae calendar.. goodness so many april babies .................
this brings to mind once again the 21st bdae celeb . exams end on 30 th april so my bdae is like ten days from the end of exams its like a celebration but i seriously think tt all tt crap bout a beach party at sentosa n playing beach volleyball n swimming in the sea n then playing in the sand n maybe playing catching on the small island.. then evening comes we all will chill at the beach bar deco with tea lights n stuff with nice music n dance or talk till morn .. will most prob never materialise.. firstly, think i ve to book a tentage on the beach in order to do tt n i real lazy to find out how to go about doing it n stuff n i bet it ll cost a bomb i mean ok i cld settle for the conventional bdae party dinner but i guess i wont really enjoy tt i like it when celebrations consists of stuff to do n play ... not onli to eat n sit n drink n eat .. sorry to disappoint peeps so i guess no more beach party .. i think i wont hold any celeb of any kind too much stress n planning think i ll rather sit this one out n plan out the rest of my 3 mth hols .. i think i need a job

hey joo over msn u mention u were curious bout the aftermath of my facial well this is the end result tadaaaaaaaa.... ok fine not tt clear but careful examination wouold haf to wait till monday 

this is a very very rare day where the curls actually retain its shape so decided to dress up a little nicer for sch tt day n a few pics wont hurt to commemerate my nice curls haha

wat a beautiful place 

children of peace on gd friday ... i felt like a snipper on the prowl to secretly take a pic of them 

my messy room which resembles a war zone stressed up over fluid test

hopes

i want sth in life !
I m still not sure wat it is but i intend to find out for myself ..
its not gonna be easy its never easy for anybody but i ll get thru it
i ll not waste my life away with drugs and cigarrettes
i ll not base my dreams on false hopes
i ll lead life with a sincere heart
i ll find my happiness
n try help those whom i cross path with find their happiness too
i love being around pple, not really machines, but they arent tt bad
i m still not sure if i want to be an engineer which was my dream since 14
but i ll work hard for my degree
i want to make my parents proud
i ll try to be a better friend
i ll try to make more effort
if there's one regret i ve in life it is the promise i made and broke to this old lady in lion's home..
the promise was a packet of chicken rice
which i failed to deliver
i had three dollars ready it made me feel enpowered to be able to fulfil someone's wishes however, my phy teacher forbid it as it would be unfair n i had to buy for everyone in the home
suddenly the three dollars in my wallet seems so small n insignificant
just like me
i never went back
i couldnt
i didnt catch her name
it happened 3 yrs ago but i ll never forget it.....
exams in 3 weeks
i hope it ll be diff this time ..
i hope i ll do better

break free if onli for a while

On fri, i had a facial appt at lucky plaza e short trip to orchard made me feel so happy n carefree if onli for a while ...

The entire facial exp which i decided to try out lasted for 3whole precious hours!!!

so in the end i onli had a lousy one hour to window shop n admire the nice clothes n everything..then i ve to walk to the taka bus stop to squeeze into 106.. the trip back no free transport haha.. *sigh**

Orchard has changed quite a lot since the last time ive been there... now everything is so so so so so preetty... the window display so creative n inviting.. the dresses so nice n summery, the new type of short jackets tt look cut off at the end looks so interesting!! wanted to try them on but alas if i do tt i ll have no time to visit wisma n tangs n far east .. I think the shoppers ard me must think i m one wierdo. as i was walking past the mirror at tangs i din realise i had this dreamy look n buck teeth smile on my face. i mean who could blame me the array of shoes.. nice bagsss n cute dresses ok even though i cant indulge in retail therapy due to financial limits i still feel happy by just looking at them its enough to bring me a certain kind of satisfaction..a contentment which made me have a silly smile on my face hahaha ok i understand some may think i m just being melodramaticbut i m not and ya its true tt i really really love shopping n lookin at pretty things n analysing them in detail.. so far i ve not really found my shopping compatriot in NUS.. I guess i know shengfang, xling loves shopping but i think i m 10 times worse than them. i can just spend 2 hours in one shopping gg thru everything, analysing them one by one.. hahaha

during chinese new year i want shoopping my my new year clothes with me peeps well they were really really patient cos i take a a rather long time to piece everything together.. i think i trust joon x ling taste n jj but jimy its a no way hahah cos he really has funny taste for clothes i mean u could tell when u look at him hahaha

however, one of the rare pple i do in depth analysis with is my bestest friend of all angela aww!! She's someone who i can do exactly tt with.. i remembered this day we went shopping in raffles city n there was a barbie doll fair so pretty! we spent the whole day there sharing our in depth analysis from the proportion to the eye colour to the hair and the overall effect it exudes.. and inn betw i would share with her this article from national geography on aesthtics and the study this grp of experts did the golden ratio... n try to apply it on the barbie dollies..



when i entered jc so sad to realise no one shared my passion" hahah fur fur loathed shopping to the core.!! she thinks it s a real waste of time shes a real impressive shopper in the other sense. I think she really gives new meaning to the word speed shopping. Her shopping is " ok carol lets do this in a effective way lets start from this corner as its easier to go thru row by row instead of columnwise" the next thing i know i wouold be trailing behind her as she effectively skim the rack of clothes at constant velocity .. goodness i felt tt i was part of th econveyor belt in some new concept fashion factory.

The onli time i truly enjoyed shopping during J1 was when we were trying to get our costumes done for antidrug dance competition goodness tt took up a major partof my time no time to study at all!! my n jeremy went to spotlight a t tamp to shop for the material so exciting at first.. after tt it gets real dreary ... so many cloth so little exp we ended up choosing one tt looks cheapskate n hard to sew so irritating.. then we went to choose black tops from this fashion haha i can ssay jeremy really knows how to shop haha constructive comments very gd..tt was the first n the LAST time i m gonna do my own costumes !! so much work so little time in the end i m concentrating on th ewrong thing instead of dancing i m practiacally trying toi come up wif sth tt s nice half the time

My bf is rather ok with shopping too he would be patient n give onstructie comments too but sometimes get tired n beg me to let him sit down haha strange though i dun feel tt my legs are tired at all

Anyway.. tts why its hard to find peeps who are infected with serious shopping syndrome like me tts why i usually try to restrain myself when im with others i dun wan to bore them to tears or waste their time

maybe another factor is tt i think i look quite ok in most clothes so its like ok i look like tt in this wat about tt pink thing over there n tt green top at the other end or tt purple gothic thing?? in the end 3 hrs would pass n the best thing bout top shop is tt we can share fitting rooms so me n angela would cramp in the limited space n she would take out her cam phone n snap away we would also be critical bout our bodies n whine about our own imperfections haha i told her i love her petite frame and i dun mind being flat so I wont look fat even if put on extra kilos so i can eat more ahahha she says i m crazy n she would die for a more voluptous bod I guess the grass is always greener on the other side. i gotta watch my diet pretty strictly a bit fatter anywhere is a no no fatter any where n it ll be obvious so yucky!! those were the days it feels like a long time ago.. 1 yr to be exact... nostalgia setting in .. now i m plugged into my radio headset with the song there's gotta be more to life by stacey orrico blasting in my ears.. ok i think i shld make more effort on my part as a friend i mean i really love my friends truly madly deeply haha but i guess i can really get very caught up in my work ... my pals have more or less gotten used to it ...

clem would call me n then i ll always be int he mid of sth lilke a equation, lectuire a stupid tutorial n in the end ill forget bout the call n he would try again n again i guess i really appreciation his patience haah n determination to get hold of me hahah.. The same goes for gin, maine , hui n angela.. so lucky to have understanding friends ..